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Family Court Stories |
The Court System has become a
terrifying and treacherous place for the ex-partner
of the abuser. Facts show that the majority of Custody Evaluators
recommendations
have been against the mother, in favor of the abusing fathers. We also
recognize that
not all abusers are fathers. Our primary goal is to protect the
child/children. We
understand there are many cases where abusive mothers gain custody of
their child/
children. We want to hear from fathers who have been let down by the legal
system
also.
One party usually has greater financial resources and almost always has
the Court
Evaluator on their side. The Protective Parents allegations and
complaints, as well as
those of the child/children, fall on deaf ears. All personal information
is kept private,
although we do ask that some substantiation is included with your story
before your
story will be posted on the site. Here are some of the actual cases on
this page. Of
course we will not use the names for the parent involved to protect them
from
harassment and harm.
Joshua's Story
Update October 2007

LETTERS
I am a single
working mother of 2 boys (15 & 8 years old). I was in a very
emotionally and
physically abusive relationship with my second’s son father for 7
years. We divorced in 2003 and
I have been tied up with family court since 2005. I feel like I am
being abusive all over again. My
ex-husband has been allowed to harass me through the court system
and no one seems to care.
Family court allows my ex-husband to harass and bully me just
because I have a child by him.
I have had to spend thousands of dollar trying to defend myself and
keep custody of my son and
now I am in debt. Family court seems to side with the parent that
has the most money
and not with the parent that has the child’s best interest in mind.
I have been sent to collections for
unpaid attorneys fees and I still owe family court almost $1000.00
for a custody evaluation that really
didn’t resolve any of my issues. Now my ex-husband is taking
me back to court for mediation and
that is going to cost me another $500.00. Because I make about
$2.00 more an hour them my
ex-husband family court feels that I should be responsible for most
of the expense that we
occur going back and forth through the family court system, even
thought I have 2 children that I am
financially responsible for.
My ex-husband has threatened to drive by my house and shoot though
my window. He has
trapped me in my apartment and the only reason he let me go is
because a friend knock on my door.
I have received close to 100 emails from him accusing me of
neglecting my son. He has called my
son school and had him dis-enrolled. He had harassed my
daycare provider to the point that I almost
had to put my son in another daycare. He has called my job, called
my insurance carrier, got the
insurance information for my son and used my insurance without my
knowledge. I am unable to
file my 2006 tax return because my ex-husband claimed my daycare
expense that I pay and my
2006 taxes were kicked back from the IRS.
My ex-husband continues to try and brain wash our son in believing
that he is being neglected
and he doesn’t want to live with me anymore. During our custody
evaluation my ex-husband’s wife
told the evaluation that they wanted to take my son from me but
since I didn’t have a needle hanging
out of my arm she knew it would be hard, but she does tell my son
that one day he will live with them.
The experience with family court has been horrible. The process has
taken a physical, mental
and financial toll on my family and my self. I always thought that
once I left my ex-husband I would be
able to start the healing process on all the emotional and physical
abusive that I suffered for may year,
but family court has proven that that will never happen because
since I made the choice to have a
son by my ex-husband that have given him the rights to continue his
abuse towards me.
Someone really needs to do something about the Family Court System.
It allows abusers to
continue their abuse on their victims and the child or the children
involved.
There is no doubt in my mind that if my ex-husband could harm me and
get away with it he would.
Family Court has made my ex-husband feel like because I have a child
by him he can bully and harass
me and that it’s acceptable. I pray that I will not become another
Family Court statistic and that one-day
people will read about me in the news and wish that something had
been done to protect me.
Thank you,
Family court victim

A story of a little girl named Zoe
January 1998 my daughter (age 19) told me that she was pregnant with
her boyfriend's
(age 20) child. Although we were dismayed that she had a pregnancy
outside of marriage,
we accepted her decision to keep the child and see if the
relationship would work.
Throughout the relationship, however, my daughter had come home with
bruises and
when asked about them, stated "oh, nothing. I'm just clumsy" August
1998 my granddaughter,
Zoe H. was born after my daughter went thru 36 hours of labor. I
became a grandmother and
was glad that there was this new little bundle of joy added to our
family. Zoe returned with my
daughter to our home in Lockport. It was shortly thereafter in October
1998 that I had
witnessed my daughter being physically hit by MG, the
father/boyfriend. It upset me to see
this happen in my home and I had informed him that he should leave
until he cools down and
to think about what he did. This is when the nightmare began.
In November 1998 MG had filed for his "paternal rights". He had
never paid a dime of
support during the pregnancy or to the child until he had spoken to
an attorney. Only then
did he sporadically pay monies toward the raising of my only
grandchild.
In January 1999, my daughter was given sole custody with supervised
visitation to the father
and an order for him to pay child support. Between his stalking, an
order of protection the
child continued to visit with her father.
In May 2000, Zoe had returned from a visit with her father and
screamed when my daughter
went to change Zoe's diaper. Zoe yelled, NO NO It hurts, daddy put
fingers in me... My
daughter was distraught and went to the hospital. The hospital
called DCFS and the
nightmare became worse. It was then that the father and his family
called my daughter
"crazy". But the question remains, why did a 1 1/2 year old say
this?
In 2001, Zoe had medical issues that required her to be hospitalized
on and off for
3 months. It was discovered that she had a rare birth defect,
pancreas divisum. In
December 2001, Zoe returned from a visit with her father with
bruises on her bottom and
stated that "Daddy hit me with a green stick". Again, my daughter
brought her to the
hospital in which the bruises were documented and suggested that she
go to the police
to file charges and that the hospital would call DCFS.
The Crestwood police department called my home at approx 10:00pm
stating that the
father was in custody and that the mother and her child need to come
in right now. Trusting
police, I had told my daughter to wake up Zoe and that we needed to
get them to the
police department. After questioning my granddaughter (without her
mother present) for
approx one hour, they then pulled my daughter in for questioning.
This took approx
2 hours. Nothing was ever done with the charges and the custody
judge, Fe Fernandez
in Cook County did not care to see the photos or have a hearing.
In February 2002 my daughter took my granddaughter to the hospital
due to severe
vomiting which indicated that Zoe's pancreas was acting up again. It
was then that
a court-appointed 215 evaluator, who never having met with my
daughter (but was paid
the fee), called DCFS. It took DCFS 5+ months to decide to indicate
my daughter for
charges and proceeded to call the judge in Cook County (ex parte..
with no attorneys
present to witness the call). Judge Fe Fernandez removed my
granddaughter from the
only home that she knew for almost 4 years of her life...away from
her maternal
grandparents, the uncles that lived in the home and from her mother.
All DCFS charges were thrown out against my daughter, but the Cook
County judge,
Fe Fernandez never returned the child to her mother. 2 1/2 years
later she awarded sole
custody to the father subjecting the mother to ONLY 2-3 HOURS WEEKLY
SUPERVISED
VISITATION. It was after the DCFS hearing that we realized that the
hospital records
received by DCFS were altered and forged...they were received by the
GAL who
received them from the father.
My first granddaughter is now kept away from her maternal family by
the father. Just
recently this year the father "allowed" other members of the family
to attend the visits
with Zoe's mother. Zoe still states that she wants to come "home, to
her real family". She
has also stated that she feels like she was "kidnapped". Zoe had
also stated to the
visitation supervisor that she is afraid to come and live with her
mommy "because
daddy might start hurting me again like he used to".
Hundreds of thousands of dollars had been spent between attorneys,
GAL,
evaluators...for what?
My husband and I decided to become foster parents and are licensed,
with my
daughter living in my home, to help children to not suffer the loss
that my grandchild
did when she was removed from the only home that she knew for 4
years.
Thank you and God bless!
Jane

My story in a
nutshell...
I
married a man that I thought was charming, good with my four year old son,
financially
secure, and said he
wanted
a family. After dating a year we decided to get married and
I quit my job
to be home with him and
my son. I wanted
more children and was willing
to give up my career to be a full time
mommy. We lived
in my home, however he
kept his
home and used it for all of his paperwork and would leave every morning
like he was going to work. Later I would find out
bit by bit that he had a son who was
nine at the time and
and the courts
in Washington had recommended no visitation.
My ex was very secretive and became
more and more controlling. He was very
needed and would do all kinds of crazy
stuff including walking
around exposing
his genitals while eating
breakfast. Once late at night when I was in our bathroom.
I screamed when I saw a man peering into the bathroom window. As soon as I
screamed I realized it was
my husband.
He became increasingly violent with my
son after our daughter was born.
Later Dr Glassman
confirmed in his evaluation
that my son had been "MANHANDLED". When I got up the courage to finally
leave
him...thinking the law would protect
me, I realize now how naive I was. He had went to
the local police
station
and filed a complaint that he was scared of me
and I was
abusive...He is 6'2" 225 Ibs and I am 5'4"
115 Ibs. I did not
know this until he attacked
me one day and the
police came. He was arrested and later
convicted of DV. He
had always told
me if I ever left him, he would get our
daughter because he didn't
have to work and I would. By now we had moved
to Arizona and had a 1.5 million
dollar
home and still had
our winter home here that we had purchased a few years
earlier. Judge Udal ruled that I could pick
which
house I wanted to live in...but would
have to make the house
payment. I had requested that I stay there to
finish
out the
school year for my son who had just changed schools the year
before. I could not
come up with
8k per month
so we moved to the other house. Once there, I
discovered my ex who had
been living there
after he was released from
jail, had not paid any of the utilities as we woke one morning to find no
electricity.
Every utility had not been paid even
though it was ordered by the Judge. I spent
over $500 getting them up
to
date. Within the first week, someone had bought
the home we were staying in and we had less than 30
days to move again. I
was
charged with contempt for not paying
the house payment on time, even though it
was paid by the 15th and given a
$500 contempt fee, nothing was addressed
as to the $500 I paid in past
due bills, even though it was court ordered.
I had money
from the sale of my house in Seattle
and wanted
to use it at this time to purchase a
house here for me and my
children. It was denied and we moved into a
2 bedroom
apartment with mattress on the floor and a kitchen table as our
only furniture. My
husband was
living in a
1.5 million dollar home and here we were. Dr Glassman
had recommended a 2
days with my
husband and 3 days with
me exchange. This
was brutal for the kids it was a hour to hour and 1/2
commute
one way, making it 2 to
3 hours of
traveling in the car every few days for my daughter and I could not seek
employment during this schedule. After a
2 1/2 day trial for a four year marriage,
The Judge gave me 1/4
of the
community assets and 1/2 of the debt. We had
hired accountants that we both paid a retainer of $850,
however they never
spoke to
me and in trial testified on my
husbands behalf. In cross examination they
did admit
to my husband being
worth over 14 million at one time and also
they could not
account for at least
4 million! I had my ex husband testify
on my behalf that I was
not abusive in our
marriage, I had my husbands
3rd wife testify about the restraining
orders
she had and the courts in Washington stating
that there should
be no contact.
Even the psychiatric evaluation from both
marriage concluded that my husband
was a pathological liar. My husband could afford top legal counsel, I had
to let my first
attorney go and hire
an attorney
that was NO MATCH for his. In the end I owed him
over 100k and had spent
over 60k on attorneys.
Before I met this man,
I had a beautiful
home overlooking the lake, house full of furniture and
most of all I
had my life. The
judge had me make
2 list and let my husband pick which list...I put our beds and a
few other
items 17 total and put 2 pages full of furniture,
so we could keep the things
that meant the most.
Even though my ex had
made between 250k to 600k per year
he
assigned him 100k as far as income
and then reduced it by 1/2 because he
had
moved from Washington. I moved too,
but was not given the
same reduction,
therefore my ex who claims he is
BROKE but has not worked for the last year
doesn't even
pay enough child support to cover preschool. My ex has seized
my child
support, not only from my daughter
but my sons too, he has tried to have us evicted
from our home because I
have a judgment against me. He
has joint
custody even
though the state of Arizona says a person who has been
convicted should not...Why
have laws if they are
not enforced? The third wife is still in court with him 10 years
after
their divorce and
why should the laws change...It is a
great way to generate
REVENUE! There are so many parts of this
divorce I
don't understand and I am
amazed at the
strength one must have to leave a situation like mine.

I'll try to keep this as short as possible, although like all of us
this is only a small
part of the ongoing story.
After our second trial, my ex-husband and I were ordered to see a Custody
Evaluator.
By the time I had
my visit, it was to late, it was clear that the Evaluator was not on my
side. My current husband also had an
appointment with the Evaluator. He could
also tell by her demeanor
that her mind was already made up
and he told her so.
She stood up, opened the door and ordered my
husband out of her office.
Of course the Evaluator went against me, in spite the fact that my ex-husband
had
been found guilty of sexually and
physically abusing my two oldest daughters
in our first trial. She
recommended that
over night supervision
be removed.
She also recommended that my 8 year old son have
visitation on Friday nights
with my
ex-husband alone. Of course my ex-husband had to promise not to
sleep
with the children, which he
violated immediately. When I pointed this out to our
NEW Family
Court Advisor (FCA) he ignored it and
increased Wednesday evening
visitation. I don't understand how the
system can allow this injustice.
Concerned Mother

First of all I would like to thank ~~~~ for being present in the
court room yesterday
for my hearing. It was
most appreciated and comforting. Next I would like to thank
all of
you who prayed and had your thoughts
with me and my children yesterday.
The hearing started around 10AM
yesterday morning. Much testimony
was heard
from the GAL, the police officers, CPS worker as I took the
stand before Noon time,
Judge called
recess until 1:30PM. During lunch, things weren't looking so good in my
opinion. It didn't seem to matter that this incident happened and that I have been
continually blamed for
the previous CPS reports made
on my ex for his behavior!
Now Because of an incident between my ex
and our son that elevated into a
terrible
situation, CPS and the Police were called for a welfare check.
This was not done by
me but by
my current husband. (Please note that I was hesitant to call anyone
because of the previous allegations
and conflict it brought the situation, I call my
attorney and then
documented events down in my office. Now
the court seems to
claim that I am responsible for others calling.
Since he is my husband the court
seemed
to conclude that I had my current husband make the call as well as put
up
to it the Nurse from past reports
and the School Counselor and maybe even
had some friends call for the two
anonymous reports. I can't
believe what I heard.
They were pushing for supervised visitation.
Even though my ex cut off the first 2/3
of recorded tape which we tried to prove in which he not only threatened
our 7 yr. old
son but became violent
with him to include slamming the car door and throwing 7 yr.
old son in
car. Ex wasn't even recommended
for so much as parenting class. I was
looking like supervised visits
for me then the Judge called unto his
chambers to talk.
Without much choice, feeling like I was ready to
lose more parenting time or be
subjected
to supervised visitation, I agreed to a new temp. access schedule. I will
be able to pick my three children up
from school (3PM) and have them until 7PM
on each Monday and Tuesday
afternoon / evening time. I
will get every other
weekend from after school Friday until 7PM. on
Sunday. We have already scheduled
a review hearing on ~~~ 2004, which also happens to be my birthday!
I have
agreed to counseling withex and can only hope that somehow when all is said
and done, I will not
lose more time with my children.
Ex request for suspension
of parenting time is still under advisement
pending the audio recordings that
have been provided the court. One in which plays the 1/3 of incident
with ~~~~
on ~~~ 2004
and their drive home where ~~~~ does nothing but slam his father
and
demand to be returned to me.
The other is current husband making calls
on audio which was caught on
tape by pure surprise as well
as f/u calls. Then
there is a few calls made to ex on there in which
he refuses to answer phone,
calls me
crazy and psycho when he does answer the phone and his blatant hang
ups
when I call his cell phone in
an attempt to reach the children. I don't know what
else to say at
this point. I am so drained from all of
this. Until next time, I hope to
see you all again soon. It
was nice to put faces with names and hear
your stories.
I hope together we can make a difference!
Take care and God Bless,

I went through a 1 1/2 year long custody evaluation done by one
of the top custody
evaluators in Maricopa
County. Despite the extensive evidence of the other parent's
domestic violence (a criminal conviction for a
crime against me; a prior criminal
conviction for an assault against the
mother of his son; an Order of Protection
for me against the other parent, upheld after hearing; numerous emails
from the other
parent to me berating and
belittling me; attempts at extortion by the other parent; etc.),
the
custody evaluator breathed not a word about the
other parent's domestic violence
in his reports. The custody evaluator did
note, however, that he felt that the
other parent was attempting to make him (the custody evaluator) do things
he didn't think
were necessarily
appropriate. If only the custody evaluator had recognized that victims
of
domestic abuse deal with this
situation every day! What is most bothersome to me
about this situation is
that the evaluator ALSO overlooked
the MOST important
aspect of the other parent's domestic violence: its
impact on the child. A year after
the custody evaluation, my child is beginning to show the effects of
continuing exposure
to the controlling and
manipulative behaviors which typify a domestic abuser. In
fact, only
recently, when I picked up my child from
her preschool, I had two of her
teachers immediately approach me to report
that my child had become visibly
upset and crying during school because of statements the abusive parent
has been
making to the child. I myself
almost cried in front of these two teachers, as I tried to
explain to them
that I have attempted repeatedly to shield
the child from this
psychological violence being perpetrated on her, but
have been unable to. This
situation
simply wouldn't be occurring had my custody evaluator AND the family
court
recognized and considered
important the domestic violence of the abusive
parent, and had the custody
evaluator AND the family court
followed statutory
provisions designed to safeguard the child. It is
imperative that situations like this
do not
happen again. Not even ONE child should suffer from exposure to domestic
violence or other types of abuse.
A Concerned Parent

Copies
of this Letter are being sent to the following individuals:
| Governor
James McGreevey |
Governor
of New Jersey |
| James Davy |
DHS
Commissioner, New Jersey |
| Robert
Notigan |
Chairman
Burlington County Board of Social Services |
| Arthur Spell |
Vice Chairman
Burlington County Board of Social Services |
| Edward E.
Cotton |
Director New
Jersey Division of Youth and Family Services |
| Francine
Scott |
Burlington
County District Office Manager DYFS |
| Vernita
Blocker |
Camden County
District Office Manager, DYFS |
| Betty Dickens |
Camden County
District Office Manager, DYFS |
| |
National
Headquarters, Children*s Defense Fund |
| D. Hoffman |
Child Welfare
Division, Children*s Defense Fund |
| Cecilia
Zalkind |
Exec.
Director, Association for Children of NJ |
| Mary Coogan |
Asst.
Director, Association for Children of NJ National CASA |
| Nancy
Chandler |
Exec.
Director National Child Advocacy Center |
| Helen
Archantou |
Director NJ
Chapter National Child Advocacy Center |
| Mary Anne
Wisniewski |
Director
Burlington County Child Advocacy Center |
| |
Philadelphia
Children*s Alliance |
| Janet
Rosenzweig |
Exec.
Director, Prevent Child Abuse NJ |
| Marvin
Ventrell |
Exec.
Director National Association of Counsel for Children |
| Professor
Gerard Glynn |
Board of
Directors, National Assoc. of Counsel for Children |
To Whom it
May Concern:
Attached you will find a letter that was mailed via USPS Priority Mail to
Judge John Sweeney, Assignment
Judge, Burlington County, NJ. I
have confirmed that his office received this letter, however, I have yet
to
learn that he has reacted to it. In an attempt not to be
redundant,
I will give you a brief synopsis of the
situation. Please read the
attached letter for detailed information. Forgive me if I appear to
be impatient,
however, as August 20 gets closer, my impatience grows.
The letter to Judge Sweeney was also copied
and sent via E mail,
certified mail return receipt requested, or priority mail to a number of
New Jersey
legislators. I did receive an immediate response from
Senator Diane Allen*s Chief of Staff stating
that her involvement in this
case would be illegal. However, nobody else has yet replied,
and I assume
that their responses will be similar. We hear so many
stories in the news of children who are harmed
by those people who are
supposed to love and protect them. Often after the fact, people
close to the
situation say that they were not surprised, had tried to
help, knew
this would happen, etc. After seeing
and hearing these things, I
would always find myself wondering why, if they knew and were concerned,
they didn*t do anything to protect the child or children. Now I find
myself in the unenviable position of
having great concern for the welfare
of
my four young cousins, however, I don*t know where to begin to
help them.
I know that I don*t have the power to do so, but I am trying
desperately to find somebody
that can and will. Everyday, I hope
that neither myself nor any member of my family will be the person
saying
*I knew something like this would happen*.* after it is too late.
For the life of me, I cannot
understand how, after so many documented
allegations of abuse, not by the mother, but by the
children, the courts
can justify turning these four children over to their father. The
children have told teachers, private counselors, representatives of
NJ Division of Youth and Family
Services, doctors, relatives, friends,
and a host of other people of the physical and mental torment
they have
suffered at the hands of their father. The majority of the
professionals involved have believed
the children. How does a judge
spend 15 minutes in a courthouse with a 9, 7, and 5 year old and
determine that three years worth of abuse allegations are untrue?
How can the courts allow the
testimony of an obviously biased court
appointed social worker? A social worker who allowed the
children to
be coached and intimidated by their father during her meetings with
them. How can they
not investigate and discover that the biased
social worker is related to the Forensic Psychologist
recommended
by the
judge? How does the judge find it irrelevant that the father is
diagnosed as
mentally ill and is currently under orders from his employer
to
seek psychiatric counseling? How does
the judge discount sexual
abuse allegations and why did DYFS wait several weeks to examine
the child who claimed to be abused? How can the father of a child
suffering from a genetic disorder
(a form of Muscular Dystrophy, see
attached) refuse to acknowledge that there is anything wrong , act
against
the advisement of neurologists, not make his child wear doctor
prescribed ankle braces and still
be
awarded custody of his children?
How can a father avoid facing charges of child abuse by simply
refusing
to speak with DYFS? If I were an outsider I would assume that the
mother must be extremely
unfit. As far as I know, she is not.
For the last
three years, she has been an emotional mess. The
relentless attacks
and mission that the father undertook to destroy her financially as
well as
psychologically has definitely taken it*s toll. He has
managed to have her harassed by neighbors,
followed and stalked by
strangers,
her trash has been stolen and searched, her children have been
completely
and probably irreparably damaged, and several of her oldest and
closest friends have
been accused of various misdeeds and are afraid to
speak to her. She has had calls from her children's
school because
bruises have been found on the kids. She has had DYFS and Family
Service caseworkers
regularly visit her home. She has had her
children
come home from visiting with their father and write
on the walls and
urinate on her furniture because their father told them to. She has
had
to comfort
her daughter when! She told her that her father was
rubbing her privates. She then had to seek help
for that daughter,
only to
be put off by DYFS because they had another fire to put out. Through
all of this
she has managed to keep her children active and busy
and remain a very involved mother. She volunteers
at their school
and summer camp. They are all involved in extracurricular activities
including dance,
sports, art classes and religious instruction. She
goes to church every week, has taken her kids to
different counselors
and therapists consistently, takes her son to therapy a few times a week,
runs the
five year old to and from nursery school, chases a two
year old, and keeps all four children fed, clean,
and as safe as possible.
All as a single mother. And when it*s bed time does she get
any peace? No,
because their father told them that monsters live in
their house and they are afraid to sleep by themselves.
So not only
are her waking hours devoted to these children, her sleeping hours
and bed are as well.
And did I mention that she was disa
bled in a car accident over 10 years ago and still manages to live
such a
hectic life? After Judge Lihotz* ruling, I asked her what she was
going to do. She feels like
there is no hope for her to keep her
kids, especially in front of that judge. She has spent tens of
thousands
of dollars on attorneys, always confident that the courts would eventually
provide her justice.
After the three years of hell that she has
lived, I cannot blame her. I would probably give up as well.
However, that*s where family becomes important. I am uncertain as to
what
allegations have been made
against her in court. She has lived in
the same community her entire life. At 46 years old, she still
counts
many of her childhood friends as close ones. Her family is
supportive and loves the kids. They
regularly visit with their
extended family
including Grandparents, Aunts, Uncles and Cousins. My purpose
in
writing this letter is not to ask for you to believe that my Aunt is a
good
person and a great mother.
Since I wasn't in court, I don*t know
what was said to make the Judge determine that the children will
be better
with their father. As is stated in my letter to Judge Sweeney, due
to my living in Florida, I was
not in court and received most of the
information
from my aunt or from family members. If the courts
have determined
that she is an unfit mother, I can accept that. However, if the
issues listed
above and in
the letter to Judge Sweeney don*t raise issues about the
fitness of their father to raise them, I don*t
know what does. If
any of you
are in a position to demand an investigation into this situation, please
do so. I don*t want any of my cousins to become statistics.
Thank you for your time and feel free to
contact me.
Kendall Clark
ATTACHMENT
78 Ethan Allen Drive
Palm Coast, FL 32164
(386) 586-5666
July 25, 2004
Honorable John A. Sweeney
Assignment Judge
Burlington County Vincinage
49 Rancocas Road
Mt. Holly, NJ 08060
Dear Judge Sweeney,
This letter is intended to
bring to your attention an issue that has occurred within the Family Court
of
Burlington County. Let me first
express that I do not claim to know everything about this case, however,
the
welfare of four young children is at risk, and as a relative who
loves these children I cannot sit idle while
the wheels of justice spin
out of control. Over the past several months, Judge Marie Lihotz has
presided
over a child custody case involving Wayne and Annemarie Myers of
Chesterfield, NJ, and their four children,
Amy age 9, Collin age 7,
Jenna age 5 and Paige age 2. I apologize for my inability to provide
case and/or
docket numbers, however, I am not in New Jersey and due
to the time constraints imposed by Judge Lihotz, I
wanted to mail this
letter as quickly as possible. Annemarie Myers is my mother*s sister
and therefore my
aunt. Approximately three years ago, Mr. Myers made
the choice to abandon his marriage in the middle of my
aunt's
pregnancy with their youngest child, Paige. After the divorce, he
decided to seek custody of the
children. After several weeks of
testimony in
the case, Mrs. Myers was notified on July 15 via a written
ruling that Mr.
Myers had been awarded permanent custody the four children effective
August 20, 2004.
Based upon the knowledge
that I have of the situation, I believe that this is a gross error in
judgment that
desperately needs to be
investigated. As I stated earlier, I do not know everything, and
have only heard
one side of the story, however, the knowledge that I do
have has compelled me to write to you in an effort to
preserve the well
being of my four young cousins. If after your review of the case and
the
information that I have provided you believe that the children are better
off with their father, I can accept that,
however, I strongly believe that
a
review is imperative. Following are issues that did not appear to
concern the
court, however, in my opinion raise red flags as to the
fitness of Mr.
Myers and the validity of the Judge*s ruling:
Mr. Myers was
diagnosed with bi-polar disorder during his marriage to my Aunt. I
understand that
during the
testimony of Shelley Stall, the Social Worker appointed to the
case by Judge Lihotz, she stated that she would
not recommend
placement of children with a bi-polar parent. As Ms. Stall was the
court appointed Social
Worker in this case, both Mr. and Mrs. Myers were
required to meet with her, both alone and with the children.
I
understand that during Ms. Stall*s testimony it was determined that the
meetings
she had with the children
were not conducted fairly. Apparently,
when Mrs. Myers brought the children to see her, she was not permitted
to
remain in the room while the children spoke with Ms. Stall. During
these visits, the children told Ms. Stall that
they had been abused at the
hands of their father. However, when the children were brought to
see Ms. Stall by
their father, he was permitted to remain in the room and
prompt the children to allege that their mother was
mistreating them.
In my opinion, this obvious bias should have compelled the court to
assign a new Social
Worker to the case, however that did not happen.
There have been at least 2 reports filed to DYFS on behalf
of the children
by their school. On one occasion, Amy had a bruise and her teacher
questioned her about it.
She informed the teacher that her father
had hit
her in the bathroom of a restaurant during her visit with him the
prior
evening. DYFS was called and began to investigate the situation.
Mrs.
Myers allowed DYFS/Family
Services into her home and let them question the
three older children about the incident. From what I understand,
they all concurred as to the incident in the restaurant bathroom.
When Mr. Myers was contacted by DYFS/
Family Services, he refused to
speak with the caseworker and nothing further was pursued in this matter.
In
2003 Jenna (then age 4) returned home from a visit with her father
complaining that her privates hurt because
"Daddy was rubbing there."
This was during the time that DYFS/Family Services was visiting the
home due to the calls made by the school and later that day a caseworker
was scheduled to visit. Mrs. Myers
told the caseworker of Jenna's
complaint. Unfortunately, it was around this time that the case of
the starving
foster children in Collingswood broke. DYFS/Family
Services was
unable to schedule an examination of
Jenna for approximately six weeks and
at that time the results were inconclusive. It was uncovered during
the custody proceedings that Mr. Myers is being made to seek psychiatric
treatment by his employer. This
situation was never investigated.
Collin, age 7 has been diagnosed by a Neurologist to have Charcot-Marie-
tooth
Disease (aka Hereditary Sensory Neuropathy, aka Peroneal
Muscular Atrophy), a hereditary disease
that falls under the umbrella of
Muscular Dystrophy. Due to his condition, Collin must wear specially
made ankle braces and attend Physical therapy twice per week. In
spite of a professional diagnosis, Mr. Myers
refuses to acknowledge that
Collin
has anything wrong with him and does not make him wear his ankle braces.
This disease progresses with age and repetitive motion and/or injury
can cause paralysis. The abuse that the
children have reportedly
suffered at the hands of their father can and will prove devastating to
Collin if it
continues.
For further information
on this condition, please refer to the Muscular Dystrophy website at
http://www.mdausa.org/publications/fa-cmt.html.
At the recommendation of her attorney, Mrs. Myers hired a private
investigator to follow Mr. Myers with the
children in November or December
of 2003. She has video of Mr. Myers in the mall with the four
children,
and of him leaving Paige (barely two years old at the time)
alone in a store
in the mall in spite of Amy's
expressed concerns about leaving her alone.
A Forensic Psychological examination of both Mr. & Mrs.
Myers was
ordered by the courts early in the case. Dr. Andrew Musetto of
Haddonfield was recommended
by the judge. My family has discovered
that
Dr. Musetto is somehow related to Shelley Stall, the Social Worker
who
showed bias in her evaluation of the children. I am uncertain as to
the accuracy of this information,
however, it is alarming if it is true.
Since the divorce proceedings started, Mr. Myers has caused great distress
to the children as well as to Mrs. Myers. He has told the children
to write on walls at home, told Collin to
urinate on furniture, and told
them that
there are monsters in their house. The children are scared to sleep
alone and usually end up in bed with their mother. When he calls
them
between visitations, they don*t want to
speak to him and often have to be
forced to visit with him. The children also state that he
continually
tells them to lie to doctors and the court or he will hurt them. As
I*m sure you can understand, this entire
situation is alarming to me.
I am not
aware of what allegations were made against Mrs. Myers, however,
my main
concern is for the physical safety and psychological well being of
my four young cousins. I understand
that Judge Lihotz finalized her
decision based upon a visit that she had with the three older children at
the
courthouse in June. If that is the case, I cannot fathom how a
decision could be made without further
investigation. There has not
been one
professionally credentialed person who has spent sufficient time with
these children to judge what is true/untrue, right/wrong, good/bad.
It is
my belief that a certain level of
comfort and familiarity needs to be
established before any person can determine what is best for these
children.
That has not happened and I am afraid that these children will be
permanently scarred psychologically as
well as physically if this case
proceeds
according to Judge Lihotz*s ruling. M! y intention is not to
discredit or
indict any person involved in this case. As a relative
who loves these
children, I simply want to make certain
that they are protected from harm,
as all children should be. Once again, I will state that the
information
I am providing to you has come to me second and third hand. I do not
know what is true, exaggerated, or
untrue. I do not know what
allegations
have surfaced as to the fitness of my Aunt to continue mothering her
children. I can tell you that my Aunt has been put through the
ringer
psychologically, physically and financially.
After learning that she
lost her children to their father despite her efforts to provide them with
a safe
and balanced
home life, she has decided that she has no hope of winning an
appeal with Judge Lihotz and does not intend to
fight. Please
understand that I do not disrespect the decision of Judge Lihotz and hope
that as an officer of the court she was
unbiased in her ruling.
However,
if half of the information above is true, I don*t think that Mr. Myers is
fit to be a
parent either and perhaps the court needs to investigate the
possibility of another relative taking the children or
perhaps foster
care.
Thank you for your time.
Kendall M. Clark
cc: Mr. Peter C. Harvey, NJ Attorney General
Ms. Mariellen Dugan, First Assistant Attorney General
Senator Diane Allen
Senator Robert W. Singer
Assemblyman Ronald S. Dancer
Assemblyman Joseph R. Malone
Congressman Jim Saxton
Congressman Chris Smith
> ----- Original Message -----
From: "Robert Muchnick" <director@childrensjustice.org>
To: "Kendall Clark" <lladnek@cfl.rr.com>
Sent: Monday, August 09, 2004 9:58 PM
Subject: Re: Please help if possible I don't decode Word, as I
detest Microsoft. If you want to converse with me,
write in your email
program.
On Mon, 9 Aug 2004, Kendall Clark wrote:
Please read the attached and comment/help if possible.
Robert Muchnick
Center for Children's Justice Denver, Colorado
http://www.childrensjustice.org

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